Navigating life through the lens of a 23yo Sri Lankan Australian woman. Interests include psychology, biology, religion, ethics, gender & sexuality.
"It saddens me to see girls proudly declaring they’re not like other girls – especially when it’s 41,000 girls saying it in a chorus, never recognizing the contradiction. It’s taking a form of contempt for women – even a hatred for women – and internalizing it by saying, Yes, those girls are awful, but I’m special, I’m not like that, instead of stepping back and saying, This is a lie.
The real meaning of “I’m not like the other girls” is, I think, “I’m not the media’s image of what girls should be.” Well, very, very few of us are. Pop culture wants to tell us that we’re all shallow, backstabbing, appearance-obsessed shopaholics without a thought in our heads beyond cute boys and cuter handbags. It’s a lie – a flat-out lie – and we need to recognize it and say so instead of accepting that judgment as true for other girls, but not for you."
"Even if the internet can magically turn people into assholes, how they choose to become assholes is quite important, for it tells us something about the larger society that the trolls are a part of. Even if the alienated teenager typing away in his basement about sluts and femi-nazis is not “really” misogynistic (and I am pretty damn skeptical that this is possible) the fact that he has gravitated towards misogynistic language as a major form of trolling is very telling, no? After all, if a person wants to troll, there could be many different ways in which they could attack and belittle other people. And yet, attacking women, people of color, and LGBTQ individuals seem to be very popular options. Goodness, I wonder why that is! It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with actual, widespread attitudes of misogyny, racism, and homophobia, could it? I mean attitudes that exist off of the internet – that is, in the realm where all those people, unrecognized as trolls, operate as fully embodied beings.
And it is precisely because those attitudes are so pervasive and widespread that I do not believe that trolls arbitrarily choose from the various types of awful they see around them without any pre-existing tendencies; trolling, it seems to me, reflects attitudes you already hold to some degree or another before you get on the internet."
Yes. People who tell me to wholesale pay no mind to trolls are usually people who don’t have to deal with that particular strain of bigotry and its consequences regularly. I already understand that I don’t have to engage in every comment thread, reblog. I know that I can pick my battles and sometimes that is what it takes to have a better day, to weigh up the imperative of an exchange on the internet that may or may not distress me for a long time, or just piss me off, and do something else. But I’m not okay with usually men who tell me to “pay no mind! it’s trolling! it’s bothering you!” as if I hadn’t considered I could walk away, as if the sexism and the misogyny being spewed or painstakingly argued for in condescending “battle of wits” is only made manifest when and if I turn up to a thread. I know that right now this particular asshole lives in internet land, but tomorrow this man and his ilk, with their views, might be catcalling me from a car, or something else intrusive. It’s not “just” the internet always. Sometimes commenting back on the internet is only “safe” way I feel I can talk back to this shit. Sometimes it’s not worth it for me. But please don’t act like there are no material consequences, or that my distress comes from some isolated comment on the internet. No. It comes from yet another piece of evidence of the misogyny that’s not entirely escapable when I shut my laptop. (via at-the-violet-hour)
"The requirement that a woman maintain a smooth and hairless skin carries further the theme of inexperience, for an infantilized face must accompany her infantilized body, a face that never ages or furrows its brow in thought. The face of the ideally feminine woman must never display the marks of character, wisdom, and experience that we so admire in men."
— Sandra Lee Bartky, Foucault, Femininity and the Modernization of Patriarchal Power (via thestolencaryatid)